I was only over here a couple times a week lately to run with Coach Fredrickson or to use the sports therapy room. I did most of my training at the club. Not that I’d been doing much since Opens. There hadn’t been time. I wasn’t getting enough physical exercise and I was ready to explode. I parked and walked toward the athletic pavilion, not even thinking that SCU was already out on winter break.That’s when I also realized exactly where I was. Straight ahead of me was the vast mural of Tent City on the wall of the AP. The school had installed lights so that the mural was always lit. It stood there, a silent testimony to what had happened—damn!—almost exactly a year ago. I could still hear the screaming. I could still see Paulie’s body sprawled out in front of me. I could still feel Wendy rush into my arms with her hair on fire. How hoarse I was for days after from the screaming I’d done. How I’d become Wendy’s hero—a poor title if you asked me. Even worse than being called her. I’d closed my eyes to avoid the stares of the other boys while I enjoyed John’s menstruations, even though I it wasn’t necessary. My brother and John were both into playing with me, and the remaining three in the car seemed very interested. I felt the car bouncing and bumping along over the pot holes in the dirt road leading into the secluded pond where gravel had been extracted, and I wondered what would happen in the moments ahead when we arrived at the swimming hole. The car came to a stop, and to my relief, it seemed everyone was bailing out. But the boy holding me on his lap didn’t move. He just hugged me tightly as I tried to move, telling me, “Hold still, Jeff, we’ll join them in a minute. We’re going to play for a while first.” He turned his attention to the others and shouted, “Leave the doors open so we can get some air in here. We’re going to play before we swim.” I was scared, especially since he asked my brother if he could fuck me. There was no way that could happen. He.
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